Parenting

In class this week we discussed different aspects of parenting. We talked about the purposes of parenting, the parent-child relationship, and Popkin's Problem-Handling Model. Along with those main topics we discussed how to be an active parent and create a good environment. Being a parent and having children is not easy and no one is perfect in their efforts. But there are ways we can be the best parents we can and help our children to be the best they can be. Raising children is nothing like training a dog. Extreme rewards and punishments do not help children in the long run. It only changes the behavior in the moment. For this post I want to discuss the purposes of parenting, aspects of parenting, Popkin's model, and punishments, rewards, and consequences.

The purpose of having children and becoming parents is not to have this cute adorable person to make your Instagram more popular. Because in reality life isn't as perfect as all of those Instagram and Facebook posts make it out to be. Life as a parent can be hectic and tiring, but it is full of so much joy and love as well. The purpose of parenting is to teach your children to become responsible, hardworking, and trustworthy members of society. It also helps you to refine those characteristics in yourself. The purpose is to bring joy to you, your spouse, your children, and other family members. It creates a sense of belonging, provides safety, and creates your own little world or community. The purpose is to create a support network (family) that will be there for each other through anything. "The purposes of parenting are to protect and prepare a child to survive and to thrive in the world they will live in." --Michael Popkin

As parents we need to take responsibility for our parenting and how we teach our children. We also need to be able to respond wisely (Response ~ Ability) to our children and to those around us. If we want our children to respect us, we need to respect them and show that we respect them. Children our smart and they have feelings. When you respect them, they will respect you and things will go smoother. As parents we should have our children's best interest in mind and love them completely. We need to let our children know and help them understand that. We need to learn to cooperate not only with our spouse but with our children.

When Popkin discusses the Problem-Handling Model he focuses on first discovering whose problem it is, the parent or the child's. Which is the person who cares or who is affected by the problem. As the parent we should allow our children to learn from natural consequences. Now lessons from natural consequences are great but there are times when exceptions come into play. The exceptions are if the situation is too dangerous, if it hurts others, or if the natural consequence is too far in the future. We also need to come up with logical consequences and the children should help decide on the logical consequence. Logical consequences are linked to natural ones, discussed in advance, involve the child, and are when then/if then situations. It should be followed through the first time and be something you are willing to follow through with. You should also give the child a second chance to do the right thing or what was asked. When approaching a child about a problem it is important to first ask politely, then use an "I feel" statement, and then use a firmer request if that doesn't work. It is important that through all of this you are encouraging to your child. You don't want them to fail and they should know that. Punishments and rewards only fix the behavior in the moment and doesn't help them to learn. It is also a way people manipulate others and what superiors do to get inferiors to do things. Logical consequences are the way to help your children learn and become responsible. Being a parent isn't easy but as we try our hardest, we can help our children to become the individuals they are meant to be.