I first want to define a few terms that we will talk about throughout the post. A family "trouble" is when the entire family is impacted by a crisis or stressor. A family stressor is something that puts strain on a family, but they are able to bounce back to normal. A crisis is something that mandates or creates problems or difficulties. Stressors in a family can be anywhere from putting blame on each other, feeling shame or guilt, death of a family member, or a miscarriage. Stressors that are most likely to lead to a family crisis are things like death in the family, unemployment, miscarriage, moving, etc. There are about 10 different types of stressor events which include internal, external, normative, non-normative, ambiguous, non-ambiguous, volitional, non-volitional, chronic, acute, cumulative, and isolated. Which means family stressors can be different for each family and the way they handle it can be completely different from another family. Not all stressors affect the family the same and some are worse than others.
When a stressor leads to a crisis it can be difficult to make it through and cope with what is happening. Some families cope and make it back to the level they were at and others stay at the level the crisis put them at. Some families even grow from the crisis and are at a higher level than their normal level. This all depends on how families react to the crisis and how they view it. If a family thinks they can make it through the crisis, turn to each other, and work to grow together then they will fare better after the crisis. Every family will have stressor events and will go through a crisis. There is no way to avoid it and it shouldn't be something to be scared of. If you work to cope healthily and turn to each other it will make your family stronger and you will be able to make it through the problem. As I think back to my own family while I was growing up, I can think of plenty stressors and crises. Although these stressors and crises tore us down for a little while we were able to eventually make it back to normal and even become better and stronger. I am actually grateful for the stressors and crises that occurred in my family because it helped me become the person I am today and helped my family to grow in love towards one another. Every family and individual are different so not everyone will do well with stressors and crises, but we can learn from past mistakes and learn to cope better and turn to family during our troubles.
I quickly want to explain the ABCX model before discussing healthy and unhealthy ways of coping. The 'A' stands for the stressor or actual event. The 'B' is the management through coping or the resources available and responses of the family. The 'C' stands for cognitions of problem or how the family views the event. The 'ABC' equals the 'X' which is the total experience. So, depending on how you manage through coping and how you view the event creates what kind of experience you get from the stressor whether it is good or bad.
The way we cope with a stressor or crisis will help determine what the outcome will be at the end of the event. Ineffective ways of coping are denial, avoidance, and scapegoating. Other ways people cope ineffectively is through the use of alcohol or drugs or other things that are used to "numb" or "forget" the pain. Effective ways of coping are taking responsibility, affirming the worth of yourself and your families, learning how to reframe, and finding and using resources that are available to you. When we learn to cope well, we can make it through the struggles we are dealing with whether they are individual, or family orientated.
When a stressor leads to a crisis it can be difficult to make it through and cope with what is happening. Some families cope and make it back to the level they were at and others stay at the level the crisis put them at. Some families even grow from the crisis and are at a higher level than their normal level. This all depends on how families react to the crisis and how they view it. If a family thinks they can make it through the crisis, turn to each other, and work to grow together then they will fare better after the crisis. Every family will have stressor events and will go through a crisis. There is no way to avoid it and it shouldn't be something to be scared of. If you work to cope healthily and turn to each other it will make your family stronger and you will be able to make it through the problem. As I think back to my own family while I was growing up, I can think of plenty stressors and crises. Although these stressors and crises tore us down for a little while we were able to eventually make it back to normal and even become better and stronger. I am actually grateful for the stressors and crises that occurred in my family because it helped me become the person I am today and helped my family to grow in love towards one another. Every family and individual are different so not everyone will do well with stressors and crises, but we can learn from past mistakes and learn to cope better and turn to family during our troubles.
I quickly want to explain the ABCX model before discussing healthy and unhealthy ways of coping. The 'A' stands for the stressor or actual event. The 'B' is the management through coping or the resources available and responses of the family. The 'C' stands for cognitions of problem or how the family views the event. The 'ABC' equals the 'X' which is the total experience. So, depending on how you manage through coping and how you view the event creates what kind of experience you get from the stressor whether it is good or bad.
The way we cope with a stressor or crisis will help determine what the outcome will be at the end of the event. Ineffective ways of coping are denial, avoidance, and scapegoating. Other ways people cope ineffectively is through the use of alcohol or drugs or other things that are used to "numb" or "forget" the pain. Effective ways of coping are taking responsibility, affirming the worth of yourself and your families, learning how to reframe, and finding and using resources that are available to you. When we learn to cope well, we can make it through the struggles we are dealing with whether they are individual, or family orientated.
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